I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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