I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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