Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
