i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize
