So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
