i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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