He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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