best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
