I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
