i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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