This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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