i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
