I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
