Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
