Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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