I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
