I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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