I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
