So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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