Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Randomize
