so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
