Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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