I CAN MOONWALK!
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
COCAINE IS GR8
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
