I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
