I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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