i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
