i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
