No stitches, just platelets and will power
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
