why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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