Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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