You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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