If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I could make wine with my vomit
time to smoke my breakfast
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
