So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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