Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
