no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
