Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
