I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
