Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
