Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
