it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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