FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
