Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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