did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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