we're blogging at a bar
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
