i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
