Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
