She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
