he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
where are you?
Hypothermia
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
