I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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