The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
