How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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