Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
