I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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