There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
