if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
